Friday Night's Alright

Well it's Friday night again and who knows what crazy capers I will encounter this week. I think I'll go and find some sleazy all-night bar and drink vodka and eat gerkins until I fall over in a pool of my own urine. Or maybe I'll go and get a pizza with my Russian buddy. I'm not sure which sounds more appealing. Of course I jest, there is no all night bar and for sure my buddy wouldn't take me there. I have asked her to take me to a casino but she said no. It seems that people here don't just go to a casino once - they become addicted and get dragged into the criminal underworld as soon as they step foot in one of these forbidden places. But there's just so many of them, they can't ALL be bad! Ok so they're not brightly lit and inviting like the casino in the Printworks in Manchester, more hidden away and tackily lit like a nightclub you'd find in Blackpool, and probably frequented by the same type of clientel. However, I shall go and win one million roubles one of these days, and then you'll all be glad that I risked my life and my reputation just to get the money for my plane ticket home!

I found a book the other day with Jamie Oliver in it called 'Jamie's guide to Russian Cuisine'. He has an advertising deal with the supermarket chain Passat, for whom he writes cookery books, on which is adorned his beaming face, and in which is included his famous southern charm and wit. In between his passages on haggling with the local fishermen whilst downing vodka and eating their profits, I found this recipe for people like me who are in Russia and can't cook.

Alright my treacles, here's a wicked idea for when you're a bit hungry and you don't know what to cook. Go to the supermarket and stock up on yer beans, stick em in a dish and bung em in the microwave. Wham Bam and there you have it, a delightful meal for one. For a bit of taste and variety slice up some pickled things and stir em in. Pucker! Me julie loves em.